happy post (weird noh?)

i'm back!

2 days to go, bora!

lovesick

i thought it's over. i was wrong. now i've been cryin for days cause i really miss him and i'm so stupid to let slip the chance of being with him. i thought i could forgive myself but i can't. all i have to do was wait for 2 hours for him to do his thesis and now we are separated for maybe a year or two cause of my impulsive behaviour.

now i'm so weak. emotionally. physically. God help me! if i could just turn back time.

i still love you. you know that. but if its not meant to be, i hope you loved me just for a bit.

bwisit

Nabwibwisit ako.
nakakainis.
grr.

Just as when i'm starting to be at ease in my boarding house, came Irrita Guy.
the hell with him.

am i not friendly?

I was eating all by myself awhile ago when I realized, I AM EATING ALONE. Though this time, i don't feel any loneliness, it just makes me wonder if I'm like this before.

No.

There would always be a text from Mumay or Ate Rueth, "san k? kain tau”, kaya ba kami mataba? hehehe. hay.. i miss foodtrip! and the other things that i miss are the endless senseless chismax while eating.

Then, even if i'm the only one eating in the tambayan, at least i was still surrounded by a lot of people... and, maybe because there were people who were required to accompany me, I don’t need to reach out. hehehe joke. and there were even a lot of times when i felt like i was spending a lot of my time with everyone else that i would rather be a loner. Well, well, well, wish granted.

sadly, this makes me realize that without dls and coss, i would be living a sad college life. i dont want my lifestyle now, barbaric.

nwyz, this led me to remember that last week, i said (and i hope i did not promise) to a new acquaintance that i'll be watching his basketball game today.. err, am i really suppose to watch it? When I say “see yah next Tuesday..”, am I really suppose to mean it? Well, someone reminded me last morning that TODAY is THE DAY, but I just said to myself, “nah… it doesn’t matter if I won’t go. He doesn’t remember it (or me) for sure.”

Now that I was pondering on why I am eating alone, I realized I’m such a selfish bitch. What if he was feeling lonely too being away from everyone else he knew? (just like me). What if he does remember what I said? And, it won’t hurt if I went there, right?

While I was sipping endlessly my drink thinking if he does or if he does not, another co-worker entered the resto (making us the only customers). Obviously, he came from the basketball game. Panic alert. Sip faster. Get out.

Hmm.. he won’t remember it when he fly back home.
I am such a selfish bitch.

manic monday.

akalain ba namang buhay pa pala tong blog nato? i just read my previous posts that were soooooo long time ago, duh, they're all whining bout how my life sucks.. and it does right now :(

my day went smoothly until i got to hiway. it was my first time to be there on a monday and i did not anticipate the unavailability of jeeps.. grr.. since they were all full, i decided to cross the road amidst the overspeeding jeepneys but just when i was on the island, an empty tamiya jeep passed by.. hay. i could have been earlier.

the work today seems so slow.. or should i say i am the slow one. i dunno, i got a lil dizzy.. and i know my brain's not working properly.. too bad.

the ride home is still very tiring, but at least the conductor gave me a peso discount.. then, i decided to buy lanzones near rob but then an old man stood beside me and murmured something.. of course i wasn't paying any attention even if he followed me to the jeepney, until he said something like 'ka-Maldita sad nimo oi, salig lang ka gwapa ka da..'.. haller?! go to hell, dirty old man!

and when i arrived at our house, i realized i forgot my keys.. and nobody's home!!! waaaaaaaaaaah! so i ate dinner at a very open, very unhealthy barbecue stand to save money for net.

so that's why i am writing an entry.. because i have nothing to do, my day sucks, i'm glad it's almost over.

10:07 pm. i'm so sleepy..

singapura waterboys

thanks for coming when
i really needed it. hehe

the final goodbye

its ironic to end sumthing
that did not even started
yet we have to
for sumthng very precious to you
yet rubbish for someone
is not worth all the trouble
but what really scares me
is that despite all the goodbyes
i said before, this one's for real
and there is no turning back
no holding on
goodluck for a new journey